Arm Update

**Well, this post turned out longer than I expected! Oops!

A lot has happened since I last posted about my arm! 

We decided we were not going to let my arm injury stop us from enjoying our summer. And although it did slow us down a bit, we planned lots of fun activities.

Sunday drive to the Teton Dam Site. Jonah decided he didn't need clothes about halfway through our drive - silly boy!

Drive-in movie with my sister, Lily, who came to town to help me out. She's amazing!

4th of July Parade. One of our favorite summer traditions!

Instead of piling into the car and driving to Idaho Falls for fireworks like we normally do, we decided to watch the fireworks throughout Rexburg from the newly-built playhouse in our backyard. We lucked out and quite a few of our neighbors decided to set fireworks off so we had front-row seats!

After our initial appointment in the last post, we continued to meet with the upper extremity specialist every two weeks. At each appointment I would get a new x-ray taken to see how things were healing, and each time the doctor would come bounding into the exam room and say excitedly, "Come look at this x-ray!" He would explain the x-ray to us, pointing out that scar tissue was beginning to form in what looked to be a promising way to be able to avoid surgery altogether. He told me he was amazed at how much motion I had, even though the absolute furthest I could extend was to about 140 degrees and the furthest I could bend was to 100 degrees. He gave me daily stretching exercises to help with my motion. We left each appointment happy but hesitant to believe I really would be able to heal without surgery.

My kids all made a great effort to "take care" of me while I was healing. They all wanted to help me put my brace back on after I took it off to stretch, and they regularly reminded each other to stay a safe distance away from my arm. They would say, "Careful! That's mom's broken arm!" and the offending child would say, "Oh yeah! I forgot!" and back away.

Camping in Island Park when I was 36 weeks. I love this candid moment of my 4 cute kiddos and me.

Another Sunday drive. We went on several this summer! Whenever I rode in the car I brought a little pillow along to rest my arm on. If I didn't elevate my arm often enough throughout the day it would swell like crazy and become really painful, and bumps in the car were no fun without a soft place to rest my arm.

Sam's work party at a cabin in Ashton. I was 38 weeks here.

Since I wasn't allowed to drive with my brace, we spent lots of time at home too. What's better than ice cream on the back porch?

At the 10-week mark I went in for my last appointment before Lydia was born, (she was due 2 days later) and after another x-ray and examining the stability of my arm, the doctor told me I didn't need to wear my brace anymore and to come back in 6 weeks. He told me he was astounded at how good my motion was - he said it was better than most people after they have surgery - and he attributed that to the hormone "relaxin" that relaxes ligaments in a pregnant woman's body in preparation for delivery.

Tommy talking to the baby in my belly.

I was so grateful to have my brace off just in time to hold my new baby, and I had hope that I would not need surgery - but I didn't dare let myself get too set on the idea. 

Random picture in the elevator on the way up to Labor and Delivery...  I wanted to include it because it is the best picture I have of my sweet tan line from the brace. Pretty snazzy!

Our little Lydia was born three days after that appointment. Though I was limited in my strength and movement in that arm, I was able to figure out nursing and caring for her.

I loved snuggling my new little girl in the hospital before we brought her home and all of her siblings wanted to hold her.

Getting ready to head home.

Here I am, in all of my one-day-postpartum glory... Not my favorite picture of myself, but it is a good picture of how my arm looked in a normal, relaxed state. I couldn't extend it any more than that.

When Lydia was just shy of 6 weeks old we went back in to meet with my arm doctor. He confirmed that the scar tissue had formed perfectly around those bone fragments, and I officially would not be needing surgery. He said that I will definitely get arthritis in my elbow in the future, but he does not predict that happening for about 25 years, so I will revisit that when the time comes. I asked him about long-term functionality of my arm - specifically push ups, pull ups and yoga since those were things I enjoyed before - and he seemed to avoid the question a bit by saying, "Well, you will never have full strength or movement in that arm again compared to your other arm, but you will be able to perform your everyday activities just fine." I was a little discouraged by that statement at the time, but I have now decided that I am determined to be able to do everything that I could do before.

He referred me to a physical therapist, and I have now done two weeks of the six weeks of therapy. When I initially met with this physical therapist he was asking me about my goals for my arm, and I told him I mainly wanted to get as much extension and flexion back as possible and that I knew I would never get it all back. He looked surprised and said, "Is that what the doctor told you?" When I said yes he said, "Unless there are screws or bone in the way, I don't see any reason why you can't get full extension and flexion back. I have had patients starting with much less movement that have gotten full extension and flexion back."

Learning I will possibly be able to get all of my motion back lit a fire under me. I am determined to get back as much use of my arm as I possibly can. At the end of my last session, after heat, stretching (ouch!), and massage, I was able to extend my arm to 177 degrees and bend it to 23 degrees. Of course my arm stiffens up after therapy and I am not able to get it to those measurements on my own, but I am happy with the progress so far and hope to see more and more progress as time goes on.

Excuse the awkward bathroom selfie. This is from today, two months after Lydia was born. I have gained quite a bit of extension, and I am really happy about that! Also, my post-workout hair is looking good...

I know it is going to take patience and lots of hard work to get my arm to where I want it to be, but I am no stranger to hard work. I am going to do push ups again. I am going to do downward dog again. I am going to do pull-ups again. It's just a matter of patience and perseverance. I can do this.

As I look back at this experience there is no doubt in my mind that this whole thing was a miracle. I know I was guided to this specific upper extremity specialist because he would decide not to operate right away, which made it possible to see the miracle of my arm healing on its own. 

I can honestly say I am thankful for this trial because it has taught me so much. Though I am not naive enough to think this is the hardest thing our family will go through in this mortal life, this injury has allowed me to see a strength in our family that I didn't know was there before. Seeing Sam care for our kids and me (doing literally everything for that first while) without a single complaint has been an amazing experience. Watching the kids step up to new responsibilities has been incredible. And seeing what I am capable of with the Lord's help has been a real eye-opener. It has helped us reflect on our family motto - "We can do hard things."

Our last picture as a family of 6!

It has allowed me to have more compassion for others who are also going through hard things, especially those things that are not as obvious as a broken arm. I have also learned not to compare my trials with others' trials. I often found myself thinking, "So-and-so is going through something so much harder. My trial is insignificant." But we all have different trials in this life, and it doesn't do me any good to say my trial is insignificant, because it's not. It's just different. 

One day in the middle of this whole thing I was wallowing in my own misfortune when I came across a quote by Gordon B. Hinckley that says, "Do not feel sorry for yourself... Go forward in life with a twinkle in your eye and a smile on your face." This made me take a long, hard look at myself and realize that feeling sorry for myself was not doing any good. It reminded me of something Sam said to me when I first broke my arm - "Going through a trial does not give us a pass on serving others." And though I am not perfect at serving others, I know I am happier when I look outside myself for ways to serve others and focus on smiling, even when things are hard. I love what Sharon L. Eubank said: "Being happy doesn’t mean to slap a plastic smile on your face no matter what is going on. But it does mean keeping the laws of God and building and lifting others. When we build, when we lift the burden of others, it blesses our lives in ways our trials cannot take away."

The most important thing I have learned from this whole thing is that God loves each of us. He cares about us. He knows our thoughts and concerns, and He is there for us in good times and in bad.

And for that I am so, so grateful.