Wednesday, August 6, 2014

My Path to Motherhood: Ellie

*** We went to breakfast while we were in California, just as our little family. 

     The first thing the waiter said when he saw us was, "Wow, you guys haven't wasted any time!" Then, pointing to each kid, "Bam, bam, bam!"

     Because of comments from some people and stares from others, I thought it would be fun to take the time to share the story of how we decided to have each of our kids, starting with our first little blessing, Ellie. In sharing each of these stories, I hope to share my belief that when to have children and how many to have is a personal decision between a husband, wife, and the Lord. I have a very real testimony that the Lord does have a unique plan for each of His children, and often the Lord's plan for us is not what we may have imagined. And, most likely, His plan for you is not the same as His plan for me. And that's ok. ***


     Sam and I were married in April 2010. When we got married we didn't plan to have children right away. We were both in school. I had applied for the Nursing program at BYU-Idaho, and was anxiously awaiting what I anticipated to be an acceptance letter in June so I could begin classes for my major that fall. And did I mention I was only nineteen? We knew we wanted kids, but we wanted to wait until after I graduated from nursing school to begin that part of our lives.

      In June I received a letter from the Department of Nursing: I was not accepted to the program. I was absolutely devastated. I had wanted to be a nurse for as long as I could remember, so I wasn't giving up. I planned classes for that fall, resolved to get perfect grades, and turned in my application for spring semester. That was it - I would start in the spring.

     However, plans changed in July. I don't remember what I was doing exactly, but the thought came to my mind that we should have a baby. I shook it off - we had only been married three months, and I was going to nursing school first. A few days later, I had the feeling again. And again the next day. So I sheepishly brought it up to Sam. I don't remember him being shocked, but he did suggest that we spend a few days praying about it separately, then we would go to the temple seeking answers, and finally we would kneel down together and pray about it. I still remember where I was sitting in the Idaho Falls Temple when I received my definite answer. The next day was a Sunday, and we came together to discuss our thoughts. After a bit of cajoling, I told him about my experience. And, wouldn't you know, his experience was similar. After our discussion Sam offered a prayer, and when it was over we were in agreement - we needed to have a baby.

     At the end of August I took a pregnancy test in the Wal-Mart bathroom, (that's a story for another day) and it was positive. We were ecstatic.

     From the moment we announced my pregnancy a couple of months later, people asked us, "Was it a surprise?" People we knew, people we didn't - they all seemed to feel the need to ask the same question, especially those who knew that we were planning to wait until we were finished with school.

     In January I received another letter from the Department of Nursing - again, I was not accepted. This time I was relieved since our little girl was due in May, and Spring semester started in April, but I was not deterred from my goal. I turned in my application for fall. I was still going to be a nurse.

     Ellie was born in May 2011, less than a month after our first anniversary.

     While we were in the hospital, Ellie and I were cared for by a BYU-Idaho Nursing student and her instructor. I mentioned to them that I was applying for the fall semester, and the instructor gave me some pointers on applying. This was a reminder that the Lord has a plan for me, and that He is mindful of my goals and aspirations. As I followed the Lord's will in choosing to become a mom first, He then provided opportunities for my education.

     In June I received the letter I had been waiting for - I was accepted to the Nursing program! I started in September.

     Sam and I were both in school, and we tried to arrange our schedules so that one of us would be home with Ellie while the other was at school, but it didn't always work out. It was so hard for me to leave my baby with someone else while I went to class. I even missed Ellie's first laugh. Sam took a video for me, and when he showed it to me when I got home, I cried.

     Ellie came with me to study groups, watched me as I practiced my skills on mannequins in the nursing lab, and even acted as "patient" when my classmates and I had to document a pediatric assessment.

     The Lord's plan was different from the one I had made for myself, and boy am I glad. Ellie is our little ray of sunshine.

     "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways, saith the Lord."
            - Isaiah 55:8

     I am so grateful for the Lord's timing in providing me the privilege of being "Mommy" to such a sweet, contagiously happy, bubbly little girl.


  1. Love her! Can't imagine your life without her, can you? Great post!

  2. Hey I got rejected twice from the nursing program too before getting accepted! It was meant to be that we're in the same class! Love your post.

  3. Heidi--Thank you for sharing your story about Ellie! It is so fun to hear other people's stories--they are all so different! Can't wait to hear the stories about Nathan and Jonah :)

  4. I always love hearing anything about your life. When it includes wonderful pictures, it's even better!!

  5. You are so right, it is between you, your spouse, and the Lord. Don't ever let anyone make you feel bad for following where the Lord guides you. As you seek His will and direction, it may not be easy, but it will be for your growth and progression. I have had people comment about how close my kids are, that I have so many (3, really- can that really be many?!) and actually that I had too few! I love your blog and keeping up with your family.

  6. Thanks for sharing Heidi! Family is definitely what matters most :) you are awesome and I'm so glad I got to go to nursing school with you.

  7. I feel like I just read an article from the ensign! Very uplifting to read :). You should submit this!


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